Scared that you're going to
be last
April
all over again

I quickly
put on my hoodie
and grabbed my shoes.

I know that
April
caught you
crying
and
making
use of violence
near
your most important
of parts.

And I know
that April
took you
seven hundred miles away
to write songs
and answer questions
that generally
only intelligent people
respond to.

I know that April
made you
grab my wrist
and stop me
from destroying
the fire
that had
consumed
your life,
as well as mine.

April
turned things
upside down,
last year.

And April
tried
to make it's
peace
with
other times
and places.

April
was three months
behind
devastation
and
cinderblocks
caving in
on my lungs.

July
was
Regret.

I never wanted
April
to be
Regret.
I was fine
with April
being
tears
through
my phone
at three
am.

April has
morphed into
everything
JulyAugustSeptember
OctoberNovemberDecember
JanuaryFebuaryMarch

has been.

I wanted April
to be
resuscitation.
I wanted April
to be you.

betcha didnt know that last line was gonna kill us all tonight.