The girl gets up each day and creates herself out of cloth and paint. She writes at night about men who looked, and boys who touched, and weight. The writing is never enough. Confession is insufficient. Absolution never comes in the articulation, only in the penance. She thinks of the saints: their bed of nails, their centuries-late apologies for Eve who doomed all women to the pains of the flesh by giving in to the pleasures of the forbidden. They lacerate their own skin for Eve, for the sins of the world which they shoulder as their own. They wear religious paraphenalia, or razors next to their bodies.
She reads into the saints. The saints? The anorexics who, in their holy asceticism, insisted that God was telling them to starve. She considers God. She determines, if they were on speaking terms, he would tell her to starve for general sins. She wills herself to rise above the flesh: not food, not sex, not touch, not sleep...the insomnia gives rise to mania, a racing of thoughts and sadistically vivid images flashing in the brain. The thoughts spiral upward, whitling shrill as a teakettle screaming inside the brain.
While the idea was planted in her mind, a haunting past revives itself. Confusion presents idealistic probabilities through ages of lies and repitition. What is so wrong with silence? The sound of sheer silence is not a void. Visual noise. Stillness, holiness, redemption through sacrifice. Trying to make an effort all the while feeding her addiction to Jesus. She wants a tangible, realistic value in her hands. She wants noise that sound like meaning, a vaccum there for silence. Testify.
It's going to be judgement day in the hall of fire and brimstone, and it's going to melt silence like her thoughts down the metaphorical canvas. She's going to use every literary device possible to settle in on her offer. And while it may take an unecessary amount of time to record pure innocence in the deep of the forest, there will always be one more quieter, one more better, one more weightless.

Acceptance of her sins led her to believe it was time to say goodbye. And the usual insanity floats.